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10B | THEPRESS.NET HEALTH & BEAUTY JULY 4, 2008
Applying the 40-70 rule
Your dad’s neighbor just called to
tell you that your 79-year-old father sideswiped
his parked vehicle and nearly hit
a child standing nearby. Was it an isolated
slip-up or the sign that it’s time for
your dad to think about giving up his car
keys? More importantly, how do you begin
discussing such a potentially volatile
subject?
Sensitive issues such as this prompted
Home Instead Senior Care, a company
serving East Contra Costa County,
to launch a public education campaign
called The 40-70 Rule. The campaign aims
to help adult children begin addressing issues
with their parents such as driving, fi -
nances, independence and even romance.
“The 40-70 Rule means that if you are 40,
or your parents are 70, it’s time to start
the conversation about some of these
diffi cult topics,” said Vianney Mendoza,
owner of the local Home Instead Senior
Care offi ce.
Research reveals that nearly onethird
of adults in America have a major
communication obstacle with their parents
that stems from continuation of the
parent-child role.
“Because of this obstacle, adult
children may wait until an emergency or
crisis happens before talking to parents,”
said Mendoza. “Our is to provide practical
ways for adult children to talk to their
parents now.”
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Starting conversations early is especially
important for end-of-life issues such
as power of attorney and wills, said Dr.
Jake Harwood, author of “Understanding
Communication and Aging” (2007,
Sage Publications). Other topics might
need to be addressed as well, he said. “On
the earlier driving instance, you could say,
‘Hey Dad, Fred from next door called to
tell me about your accident. What happened?’”
Harwood said. “Then take the
opportunity to ride with your parent.
Even a short drive would help you gauge
your dad’s skills and defi cits.”
Such conversations should be
broached with care, Harwood added.
“It’s crucial to begin these conversations
assuming ‘if’ rather than ‘when.’ Many
older adults continue to drive safely as
they age. So personal circumstances
should determine how much discussion
needs to occur,” he said.
Good communication also is vital to
helping families know when it’s time to
seek additional resources. “Oftentimes,
both adult children and their loved ones
can benefi t from outside help, such as a
professional caregiver,” said Mendoza.
“But the only way that will happen is if
they can talk about it.”
For more information about Home
Instead Senior Care’s survey, including
the results of the research and an executive
summary, visit www.4070talk.com.
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